It comes as no surprise to most that no one person can be a perfect match for another person. This is true because no two people are exactly alike, not even identical twins. It is not uncommon to feel disconnected from your partner, feel the differences between you and your partner are insurmountable, feel like you are being difficult sometimes, etc. However, this in no way mean you and your partner are not compatible.

Although, significant differences can be indicative of unlikeness, it does not mean that compatibility on the things that matter do not exit. In order for a most relationships to be sustainable, partners should share the same or similar goals for the relationship, have mutual respect for each other, enjoy spending time together, but has their own individual personality independent of their partner and the relationship, each partner motivates the other to be a better person, there is open and honest communication, etc.

Here are 10 Key Signs You and Your Partner Are Compatible:

  • You and your partner share a mutual respect
  • You see a future together
  • Both partners can accept the differences in each other without trying to change the other
  • You enjoy spending time together, rather than feeling like you are obligated to do so
  • You share some mutual interests
  • Both partners communicate well and understand the importance of open, honest dialogue
  • Partners are committed to making the relationship work
  • Partners do not question the other partners love in the relationship
  • You can have verbal disagreements but it does not change your feelings for your partner
  • Partners motivate each other to be better people.

Establishing a sustaining a relationship can be challenging for most people at various times throughout the course of a relationship. However, those that are interested and committed to making the relationship work will put in both the time and effort to keep the relationship going. No relationship will be conflict free as there will be times when partners will not agree, feel overwhelmed by the relationship, or feel as if they are “too different” from their partner.

According to research study conducted by Columbia University, couples who are too similar to each other, both physically and in personality, are less likely to have a long lasting relationship than those with some distance between them. Couples with the strongest relationships are those that are neither the closest nor the most distant but lie somewhere in between. It is not uncommon for one partner to yearn for a more intimate relationship while the other craves more distance putting partners equally at risk of having a problematic relationship. Partners seeking to experience a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship must find a way to attain a mutual idealized level of closeness.

Joy & Brian

Joy & Brian have been in a relationship for approximately one year. To most people including the couple’s friends both Joy & Brian appear to be polar opposites, i.e., Joy is an attorney, she lives a very structured existence as she schedules almost every event in her life, and she is a very serious person. Brian runs his own mechanic shop, he possesses a care free attitude, doesn’t schedule anything that does not pertain to work, and has a comedic personality.

On the surface Joy & Brian appear to have nothing in common, seemingly incompatible. However, the couple enjoy spending time together, maintain a shared view of the future, and bring out the best in each other, i.e., Brian motivates Joy to take more time for her personal interests, take more joy in the little things in life, explore new adventures, etc. Joy motivates Brian to make better plans for his future vocationally, how to prioritize his life in regards to importance, change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed, etc.

Does this relationship have what it takes to stand the test of time?

Contributing Author: Terri Allen, Director of Nursing Services.